Arriving back in France has been a jolt to the system, a commitment to getting life back on track and not to lament too many things that have gone wrong over the last year.  Loosing a couple of business ventures, money and now with little if no income, but with  home to build, I am trying not to panic.

Work gives respite to worry and a bed that gives me back ache is stopping me from falling into dreams that might not be so restful.  The summer is on its way and we are pressing on with building a workshop so we can finally move belongings out of the barn and try to start putting a business together. With the sudden dumping of belongings on quick trips from the UK, we can barely get the doors open and our temporary garage blew over in the strong winds here too – from North West and viciously bitter cold, so we are making sheds – one for wood, one for working in and to house tools and renovating a little stone room for autumn pickles, preserves and our huge stock of pine syrup and honey.  At least that is one benefit of a fallen business – I get to keep the stock.

With so much red tape, and licences and no long-term secure funding, I have decided I cannot take on any venture that needs anything more than my creativity and a camera and a computer.  Money isn’t that stretchy and I am stressed out by bank letters, interest charges and penalties and need a step back to a more manageable life.

Tony wants to make his lamps, after years of disappointment on not following his dreams.  I am back to what I loved doing as a child, painting and writing.  It might not bring me much income, but I hope it wont create debt either.  I am on a flat-line period, to regroup, de-stress, and work on what I can complete. No deadlines, no big plans.

The financial aggression of the UK over the last year has been an eye opener and doesn’t bode well for small business.  The high street is full of goods from china and the small entrepreneur must turn to the internet to survive.  The internet is time consuming and not always a gateway to success and I have yet myself to fully understand how you build a business through that media.

I have taken many photos in the last few weeks and will put these on line soon.  But for now two things that make me smile – Sour Lemon Tart because I adore it and Sweet Ladybirds.  These little bugs are tough cookies, you can see a few dents in this ones outer armour.  They appear to exist on nothing through the winter and precariously scale walls with no fear of vertigo.  We had three in our flat for a month and felt too cruel to throw them out in the cold. They happily stayed by the window, basking in the sun, or curling up in a corner when dark fell.  Offers of salad were munched and then one day they disappeared.  We disappeared too, packed up and moved.  Sweet and sour memories but now a fresh start.