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Marriage in the time of isolation

Facebook prompted a celebration of marriage this week and I wanted to share. *

In this honestly shameful and tragic time of Coronavirus, you really feel how precious your life and relationships are. We are honestly scared about this virus and angry about the loss of many innocent and hardworking people. The daily news of failed businesses, poor supplies of protective clothing and unrealistic promises to meet unrealistic targets in testing for infection and timescales for a vaccination just smack of the incompetence that just doesn’t appear to have improved in the slightest. I even hear that China has an appointment on the UN Human Rights Council. Maybe I am being uneducated in not feeling this is an honourable appointment. The countryside is solace and I am happy to hide away. Isolation with my husband is honestly wonderful.

We are resolved to remain in isolation for at least six months or even more. Luckily we have land and homes to give us freedom to move around and mostly continue to live as we would from day to day regardless of the virus. Many are not this lucky and it must be tough going. I am asthmatic so on the vulnerable list. Tony risks the shopping and public trips and we have a routine of wearing gloves, masks and minimising touching anything. Back to the car it’s gloves off and in a disposal bag, hand sanitizer and then a good soap and water scrub back home. Bags go into the cold room for 2 days before unpacking and any post is quarantined for 3 days in the garage. Its as much as we can do really.

One thing that stands out in our relationship has been both our willingness to make changes and take risks. Back in 2015 our pandemic was financial and homelessness. We resolved to ditch England and come to France. Hounded by credit ratings and greedy, uncommunicative landlords, our stress levels were palpable. The pound was on an all time high and we stuffed any cash we could earn into Euros to buy our barn. The day we pulled up in Creuse and realized we had freedom still makes me emotional and queasy with relief.

Today I feel even more thankful. The consequences of modern life have pulled so many away from rural living and the independence this can provide. It may not seem socially exciting or the prospect of growing your own radishes fulfilling but when the balance, as now, is tipped against you, restricting your daily life, these fields and this earth is precious.

But back to marriage. I love being married. I love the bond of marriage. The commitment and the trials of teamwork. Sometimes it’s heated, the Latin and the Protestant tempers clash. But we care about our feelings, our hopes and know any argument is the consequence of passionate aims and ideals. So basically we communicate our fears and irrationals. Tea cools my hot head and Tony walks the dogs!

*Every person who has been married for a long time to the same person will agree that marriage isn’t for the faint at heart; it’s not always pretty. Those parts about “for richer or poorer” and “in sickness and in health” are in the vows for a reason!

It’s Happily Married Week. If your spouse is still your best friend, works extremely hard, has been with you through triumphs and tragedies, loves you when you’re at your best and worst, is who you’re proud to be married to, this post is to celebrate my many happy years since we married in 2015.

Happy days together at Chatham Dockyard, Joiners Shop. Business ideas and dreams of doing meaningful projects.

And if you want a happy song for a sad time and to celebrate marriage and companionship, listen to lovely Laura Viers – “The Lookout”. Have a hopeful time. 💛

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